Pre-wedding photo at Emerald Lake, 2011

My best female friend lost her partner at the end of September and it changed the landscape in many dimensions.  It changed the landscape of our relationship. I’d missed our belly laughs that were occurring ever less frequently because we were both busy doing other things.  She had given me so much support over the past eight years. Now, she needed me and I was happy to be there. It changed the landscape of my own friendships.  I missed her partner, his wry sense of humor, his good nature, and his love of animals, great and small, his love of nature itself, and his affection for me.  It changed the landscape of my own life.  Though the preparation was there for a major shift, the loss of my friend’s partner created a deep sense of introspection for me.  I was working on a change in my work life and the commitment he held toward his values shone brightly in front of me as a beacon for making change in my career.  His loss heightened the losses I felt in my personal life.  His love for her, though he rarely expressed it verbally, was evident in the things that he did:  gifts of assistance, including helping with her mom, who really didn’t like him sometimes; even more subtly, the surreptitious photos he took of her that showed her beauty, even in circumstances where none of us look particularly good; his ability to make it through difficult conversations, without getting defensive or laying blame with her, or at least recovering from a difficult conversation with grace.  Though she often talked about ending her relationship with him for certain difficulties, her ability to see the wonderful things she had just lost made me recognize what I could lose and what I had to gain.  As the sun set on one horizon, it awoke on a new landscape, filled with abundant gifts and the promise of a new adventure.